diff --git a/hack/bats b/hack/bats
index dec70f1eaa..fb99181f52 100755
--- a/hack/bats
+++ b/hack/bats
@@ -12,6 +12,7 @@ $0 is a wrapper for invoking podman system tests.
 
    --root         Run only as root
    --rootless     Run only as user (i.e. you)
+   --remote       Run with podman-remote (see below)
 
    FILENAME-PATTERN Run only test files that match 'test/system/*name*',
                     e.g. '500' or 'net' will match 500-networking.bats.
@@ -28,23 +29,27 @@ $0 is a wrapper for invoking podman system tests.
 
 By default, tests ./bin/podman. To test a different podman, do:
 
-    \$ PODMAN=/abs/path/to/podman $0 ....
+    \$ env PODMAN=/abs/path/to/podman $0 ....
 
 To test podman-remote, start your own servers (root and rootless) via:
 
-    /path/to/podman system service --timeout=0
+    \$ bin/podman system service --timeout=0 &
+    \$ sudo !!
 
-...then invoke this script with PODMAN=\$(pwd)/bin/podman-remote
-
-   (You'd think Ed could be bothered to do all that in this script; but then
-   the flow would be 'sudo start-service; sudo run-bats; sudo stop-service'
-   and by the time we get to stop-service, the sudo timeout will have lapsed,
-   and the script will be hanging at the password prompt, and you, who left
-   your desk for coffee or a walk and expected to come back to completed
-   root and rootless tests, will be irked because only root tests ran and
-   now you have to wait for rootless).
+...then invoke this script with --remote. (This script can't start the
+servers, because we can sudo *starting* the service but can't sudo
+stopping it: by the time the bats tests finish, the sudo timeout will
+have expired. We apologize for the inconvenience.)
 
 $0 also passes through \$OCI_RUNTIME, should you need to test that.
+
+Examples:
+
+    \$ $0 220:\"restart cleans up\"
+       ... only the \"restart cleans up\" test in 220-healthcheck.bats
+
+    \$ $0 --root 160:\"ps -f\"
+       ... runs all tests in 160-volumes.bats that match \"ps -f\" (root only)
 "
 
 # END   usage message
@@ -63,8 +68,8 @@ chcon -t container_runtime_exec_t $PODMAN
 TESTS=test/system
 
 REMOTE=
-ROOT_ONLY=
-ROOTLESS_ONLY=
+TEST_ROOT=1
+TEST_ROOTLESS=1
 
 declare -a bats_opts=()
 
@@ -74,9 +79,9 @@ for i;do
     value=`expr "$i" : '[^=]*=\(.*\)'`
     case "$i" in
         -h|--help)  echo "$usage"; exit 0;;
-        --root)     ROOT_ONLY=1 ;;
-        --rootless) ROOTLESS_ONLY=1 ;;
-        --remote)   REMOTE=remote; echo "--remote is TBI"; exit 1;;
+        --root)     TEST_ROOTLESS= ;;
+        --rootless) TEST_ROOT= ;;
+        --remote)   REMOTE=remote ;;
         --ts|-T)    bats_opts+=("-T") ;;
         */*.bats)   TESTS=$i ;;
         *)
@@ -92,6 +97,20 @@ for i;do
     esac
 done
 
+# With --remote, use correct binary and make sure daem--I mean server--is live
+if [[ "$REMOTE" ]]; then
+    if ! [[ $PODMAN =~ -remote ]]; then
+        PODMAN=${PODMAN}-remote
+    fi
+
+    if [[ -n "$TEST_ROOT" ]]; then
+        sudo $PODMAN info >/dev/null || exit 1
+    fi
+    if [[ -n "$TEST_ROOTLESS" ]]; then
+        $PODMAN info >/dev/null || exit 1
+    fi
+fi
+
 # END   initialization and command-line arg checking
 ###############################################################################
 
@@ -106,7 +125,7 @@ fi
 export PODMAN_ROOTLESS_USER=$(id -un)
 
 # Root
-if [ -z "$ROOTLESS_ONLY" ]; then
+if [[ "$TEST_ROOT" ]]; then
     echo "# bats ${bats_filter[*]} $TESTS"
     sudo    --preserve-env=PODMAN \
             --preserve-env=QUADLET \
@@ -119,7 +138,7 @@ if [ -z "$ROOTLESS_ONLY" ]; then
 fi
 
 # Rootless. (Only if we're not already root)
-if [[ -z "$ROOT_ONLY" && "$(id -u)" != 0 ]]; then
+if [[ "$TEST_ROOTLESS" && "$(id -u)" != 0 ]]; then
     echo "--------------------------------------------------"
     echo "\$ bats ${bats_filter[*]} $TESTS"
     bats "${bats_opts[@]}" "${bats_filter[@]}" $TESTS